


Forgotten Time

by DoctorCutekin (ProfoundlyInLove), ProfoundlyInLove



Category: Stitchers (TV)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Falling In Love, Getting Back Together, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Kirsten has feelings, Memory Loss, camsten
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2018-12-31 16:01:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12135993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfoundlyInLove/pseuds/DoctorCutekin, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfoundlyInLove/pseuds/ProfoundlyInLove
Summary: The way she breathed against him, her touch setting his skin on fire, how one look brought him back, it was intoxicating.He thought he'd been dreaming.---I'm making a season four because fuck you Freeform.





	1. Her Love is Running Out

**Author's Note:**

> The finale wrecked me seven ways till Sunday and made me share my pain.

Walking away from the Stitchers project, from her, was the hardest thing Cameron had ever done, not even including the threats and overhead intervention he’d caught from the higher ups during his two week notice. Nothing would ever compare to the work he did there, and no one would ever compare to the girl he’d fallen for in the confines of that lab. He’d taken a research position at UCLA, working an average nine to five job, sold his car for something less flashy. The loft was the one thing he couldn’t change, not when some of the best memories he had were from that apartment. It was nearly identical, aside from a few new photos on the wall.

Linus and Camille slowly drifted out of his life, not that they didn’t try, but eventually they realized the pain they were causing him. Whenever they would walk in the room he’d watch for her, only for his heart to be crushed all over again. Last he heard, she still worked for the program, still lived in her family home, everything was the same for her. He knew he could have stayed, tried to make due with whatever memories the blonde had, but he couldn’t handle the way every breath hurt when he was around her.

He was wrong in telling her that ‘ _It was better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all._ ’

Cameron laid in his bed, glasses resting low on his nose as he thumbed through an article in Science Weekly.

The urgent knocking on his door caught his attention immediately, it was something he hadn’t heard in a long time, aside from teasing dreams he’d had over the last three years since he’d left. Without a second thought he was on his feet heading for his door, opening it wide. He couldn’t tell if he was hoping it was or wasn’t her. Either way would be painful.

In the doorway was the familiar figure of Kirsten, his breath hitched and he could hear his heart in his ears.

She smiled at him and he felt nauseous. It was like he’d walked back in time. “Hey, I think I broke my key, it wouldn’t open. Weird right?” She said, holding up her keychain in explanation. “Didn’t mean to wake you up, must have lost track of time at Camille’s.”

His landlord changed the locks on his floor a year ago after a string of robberies that thankfully he’d been unaffected by.

Without skipping a beat, Kirsten stepped past him making a beeline for the kitchen. Cameron couldn’t even register what was happening as the light turned on behind him and he could hear shuffling and clanging of silverware.

 “We’re out of Nutella.” She said, coming out more like a question. He’d thrown the Nutella away two years ago, well past it’s expiration date, too afraid of the implications of letting go of it.

Cameron couldn’t find any words, so instead he just shut his front door and followed after her into the kitchen to find Kirsten rummaging around in the freezer.

 “Did you eat the ice cream I bought? Not that I mind but even I can’t eat an entire carton in a day.” She said with a small impressed smile as she opened the cupboard on the far left, “Jeeze Cameron, did you eat everything? I only stayed with Camille for one night.” The blonde chuckled as she turned to face him with her arms crossed over her chest. Cameron allowed himself to take in the moment as he looked her up and down, her hair was a little longer and hung loose instead of being in her signature ponytail. It was the shirt that caught his attention.

 Truly it was nothing special, just a navy long sleeve henley. The telling fact was that she was practically swimming in the fabric that had gone missing from Cameron’s closet years ago, before they had even started dating. He could remember the night she borrowed it, promising that she’d bring it back washed. Really he knew the likelihood of that shirt ever being his again was slim, unless you counted the times she’d return things so that “they smell like him again.”

 “Am I dreaming?” He asked, his voice cracking. Cameron could feel heat travel up his neck into his face, his thoughts bouncing around his head in a rapid fire.

 Kirsten gave him a funny look, “No.. You okay, Cameron? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” She took two steps closer to him, closing most of the distance between them. They’ve been in this position before more than once, close enough to feel the pull of the other, like gravity.

 Cameron snorted, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, fine. Long night.” He finally said, giving her a sad smile. “Let’s just enjoy tonight while we can, shall we?”

 Kirsten smiled at him before closing the distance with a chaste kiss, and Cameron could feel his mind shut down like a computer getting hit with a baseball bat. The moment ended before he could even register what was happening, and he watched her walk towards their -- his -- bedroom.

 He stood in the doorway watching her rustle through drawers, obviously looking for something specific. “Hey, do you want to finish where we left off on Doctor Who? I’ll set it up if you get the wine.” She said over her shoulder before pulling her shirt off, revealing nothing but skin. Cameron found himself staring at the floor, not quite sure where to look.

 Turning around, Cameron smacked his cheeks a little rougher than necessary, trying to shake off the groggy panicked feeling that had settled deep in his chest. “It’s just a dream,  enjoy it.” He muttered to himself as he padded into the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of wine and two glasses. In the bedroom the television came to life and Kirsten poked her head out the doorway, “You coming or what, Stud?”

 Cameron smiled at her, finally feeling himself relax to the sound of her voice.

 “You know it, Cupcake.” He said finally, smiling at her. It was the first smile in what seems like ages that felt genuine. When he walked into the room, she’d already started to get under the covers, not before revealing all she was wearing was a tank top and his boxers. He could feel his mouth go dry and the collar of his t-shirt felt suffocating in that moment.

 Cameron poured her glass first, handing it off before filling his own. “You ready for your mind to be blown, Princess?”

 Kirsten looked him up and down with a dangerous look, “More than ready, Doctor Goodkin.” She reached a hand out for him, placing her glass on the bedside table. Without a second thought he followed suit, the moment his hands were free Cameron was being tugged down into the bed with less than grace.

 Her arms were around his neck like it’s where they were meant to be, pulling him down to her lips.

  
  
Just as heaviness started to claim him, Cameron tightened his hold around the sleeping girl, knowing his dream was coming to a close. “I miss you all the time.”

 Rousing only slightly, Kirsten mumbled a simple reply while rubbing small circles into his forearm, “No reason to miss me, I’m right here.”

 “I wish it was that simple.”

  
When Cameron woke up there was a weight on his chest that sent him into a panic, his eyes flew open only for everything to be clouded by a shroud of golden hair. In that moment he could feel his heart stop in his chest, his lungs burning for the air that he’d forgotten to breathe.

Slowly he slid out of the bed and went straight into the bathroom where he started to hyperventilate. “I’m losing my mind.”

 Cameron did the only thing he could think of, he called Camille. She could give him clues, get him access to the lab to figure out what the hell was going on with Kirsten.

 “Yello’, you’ve got Camille.” She said, sounding like she had food in her mouth.

 “I thought I was dreaming.” He forced out, a hand going through his hair as he sat on the bathroom floor.

 “Cameron?” She said, shocked, coughing out food that she’d nearly inhaled into her lungs.

 “I was in bed reading and someone knocked on my door. She was just there like nothing had even happened. Went looking for Nutella, wanted to watch tv in bed, like she was never gone. How the _hell_ was I supposed to know I wasn’t dreaming?”

 There was a knock on the bathroom door, “You okay in there? We’ve got to get to work soon, Doc.”

 “I’m fine, I’ll be ready in a second.” Cameron croaked, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Looks like I’m bringing her into the lab. Warn Maggie, I would like to avoid getting shot.” He could hear Camille yelling into the phone incoherently.

 After hanging up the phone, Cameron washed his face with cold water and brushed his teeth, not bothering to waste time putting his contacts in, instead sticking with his glasses. While getting dressed he sent a text to his current boss that he wasn’t going to make it in today.

 When Kirsten made her way out of the bathroom she gave him a small smile, “Ready to go?”

 The drive to the lab was nerve wracking, he couldn’t decipher how he was supposed to even feel, torn between elation and fear. Fear that he’d lose her all over again.

 Each tick of the elevator caused his heart to practically leap out of his chest. Somewhere between meter one hundred and forty-six and one hundred and forty eight, Kirsten had wordlessly taken hold of his hand and was tracing small circles over it with her thumb.

 It’s the smell that hits Cameron first. Chlorine, antiseptic, and a faint hint of Camille’s favorite air freshener.

 

_“You can’t ask me to be apart of this project anymore, Maggie. I’ll find you a replacement that will keep her safe, but I can’t do this. I thought I could but I can’t. This is my two weeks notice.” Cameron said, sliding a folding piece of paper across the desk._

  _“Cameron, this project is bigger than you. You can’t just walk away. Kirsten wouldn’t want you to.” Maggie said, giving him a stern look from her seat in her office chair._

  _“Don’t use her as a pawn against me, not now. It’s been eight months, she wants nothing to do with me, doctors don’t think it’s ever going to come back. She doesn’t trust me to handle her stitches, I’m a bigger risk to her than ever before. You know that.” Cameron said with a fierceness that Maggie had never heard from him before. He had grown from the scrawny nerd she’d picked out from his Phd program and thrown into a world he didn’t understand. Now he was a hardened man who lost everything because of that world._

  _“She moved out last week, correct?” Maggie asked, knowing the answer. Kirsten had left one morning without even a word after eight months of Cameron sleeping on the couch, wordless meals, and never ending heartbreak._

  _“Two weeks, Maggie. I mean it.” Cameron said, not bothering to answer. Wordlessly he stood and retreated from the office._

 

When the elevator dinged opened, the pair was immediately rushed by Camille, quickly followed by Linus. The shorter woman wrapped her arms around Kirsten in a frantic hug, “Jesus Christ, where have you been?”

 Kirsten furrowed her brows and slowly patted her friends back in confusion, “I know I’m still kind of new to the friend thing but this is weird even for you, Camille. I saw you not even twelve hours ago.”

 Linus stared at Cameron in shock. Even he couldn’t find words in this situation.

 “Kirsten, Ayo needs to see you in medical, _now._ ” Maggie ordered from behind them, announcing her presence. The younger women pulled apart and Kirsten huffed but still walked away towards the medical bay.

 “The rest of you, office.” She demanded, the click of her heels echoing against the cement.

 Camille gave Cameron a second glance before following behind Maggie, leaving Linus and him alone for a brief moment.

 “Hey bro,” Linus said quietly, almost sheepish.

 “I’m not dreaming, am I?” Cameron asked, his mind hitting every emotion on the map.

 “Nah, feels like it doesn’t it?” Linus asked, “She’s been missing for three months, coma since a month before that. We had no idea where she was, man. She declared MIA assumed dead by higher ups, then Camille calls me this morning crying her eyes out saying she talked to you and said she was alive.” He started to retreat towards the office.

 “You lost her?” Cameron shouted, “You had Kirsten declared dead and didn’t even tell me?” Everyone in the lab turned to see him, his hand in his hair. He felt like the entire Earth had shifted underneath him and he couldn’t find his footing.

 “Maggie declassified you years ago, Cameron. If I told you I’d be in prison and she would have still been legally dead. Either I could interrupt your new happy life to tell you a girl you used to love was gone, or I could let you live in peace.” Linus explained quietly, putting both his palms up in defense.

 “You think I’m happy?” He managed to choke out, much quieter, somehow sounding even more desperate than before. “I wake up alone every day, just to go to a job that I don’t like, come home to an empty apartment, and sleep in a bed that still smells like her perfume somehow. Is that what happy is? Because if so, I want no part in it.” He finished, finally moving to walk towards Maggie’s office.

 He could feel eyes him like he was a walking billboard.

 Inside the office, Maggie stared at Camille in silence, both could hear the man yelling in the other room.

 “I need you to return to your original assignment, Camille. She’s been missing for three months, we have no idea what she was doing during that time. Her parents are still missing, we have to consider all the options.” Maggie said with as little emotion possible, causing Camille to stiffen.

 “I don’t know how comfortable I am with that.” Camille said shortly. Spying on her recently returned best friend who supposedly has her memories of the last three and a half years back seemed like a great way to get thrown out in the cold all over again. They were barely even roommates before she’d disappeared, acting like she had when they were back in grad school. Except now people were expecting a Kirsten that she could never provide, this version of her had no emotions to draw on and the stitches weren’t giving them to her.

 “Think of this, you can either get comfortable with it, or we can find another stitch captain. You are well aware just how replaceable you are.” Maggie snarled, followed by the sound of her office door opening, revealing the disheveled doctor.

 “Fine.” She ground out.

 “Good of you to join us, Doctor Goodkin. I trust UCLA is treating you well.” Maggie said with no trace of emotion.

 “Tell me everything, and God forbid if you leave anything out, I will destroy everything in this lab and ruin this program.” Cameron seethed, his eyes dark as they bored right into the older woman. She motioned for a chair in front of her, completely unfazed.

 Silently he moved past Camille to take a space in front of his former boss, shortly followed by Linus to his left, Camille choosing to remain standing.

 “Camille, I suggest you start your assignment sooner than later,” Maggie said, motioning for her to leave with a wave of her hand. He could hear her huff as she left the room with a muttered, “Unbelievable.”

 Maggie narrowed her gaze on Cameron, her expression giving no hint on her emotional state. Somehow she had perfected Kirsten’s talent.

 “We sent her into a stitch, Camille piloting. Kirsten was still having reoccurring symptoms of her temporal dysplasia. Any progress she’d made was completely gone. She ignored a direct order and stayed in the stitch too long, seized, and was in a coma shortly after. It’s all in the security tapes, I’ll grant you access if you wish to see it.”

 “I want access to all the tapes of the stitches you sent her in since I left, along with the case files.” Cameron demanded.

 “Done. Now quid pro quo, what happened between you and Miss Clark? Did she ask for any lab information, anything classified brought up?”

 Cameron look at her with furrowed brows in surprise, “No. She came in acting like she’d only been gone for a night, wanted Nutella and wine. We watched TV for God sake. It was the most normal night I’ve had in years.”

 She analyzed the scientist for what felt like centuries before speaking again, “After about a week she was transferred from med bay to Los Angeles regional. She was there for three weeks and then overnight she disappeared. Surveillance footage was tampered with, no witnesses to speak of.”

 “And you just forgot about her? Lose an asset and replace it the next day?” Cameron asked coldly, his hands curling into fists on the armrests of his chair.

 “We had absolutely no leads, Doctor Goodkin. There’s only so much you can do to find someone who didn’t want to be found.” Maggie said lightly, hands folded on her desk.

 “You should have told me. I deserved to know. You promised me you’d keep her safe, the _second_ you broke that promise I should have been the first person you called.” His voice a dangerous low tone, another new thing for the doctor. He’d grown cold. She almost didn’t recognize the man sitting across the table from her. It shouldn’t surprise her, but it did. She’d watched him grow into himself when he met Kirsten, and watched him destroy himself in those months following her accident. Exhaustion had wrecked his aching body, bags a permanent fixture on the once shining face, voice tired from his constant fights at home with his once-love. Maggie knew the blonde had tore the scientist down until there was nothing left, yet Cameron stayed. Something in him broke the day she physically left him, even Maggie could see it that day the man had come into the lab.

 

_It wasn’t that time stopped, it was that he just didn’t care anymore. So when Linus asked him why he was four hours late for work, he shrugged. Then Camille had said, “Jesus what’s wrong with you?” He only shrugged again._

  _“Maggie said we were stitching. I’m here, let’s just get this done.” Cameron said robotically._

_When the stitch was over he’d asked Maggie for the rest of the day off since the subject couldn’t be stitched again. She asked him why he didn’t want to be in the field with the team._

  _“I was hired to pilot the stitch, nothing more.”_

 

Her contact at UCLA gave her periodic updates on the doctor and it was rarely a glowing review; on paper the man was perfect, but he couldn’t interact with anyone with snark or arrogance. It was a nightmare to work with or for him, couldn’t keep a grad student for longer than six months, colleagues refused to work with him, published the bare minimum to keep his job.

 “Maybe. But I thought you deserved more than an empty coffin funeral.” Maggie said with a cocked head, “And I didn’t want you to spend the rest of your life chasing a ghost. You may think this cold, but I wanted to do the best I could for you, Cameron.”

 “That isn’t for you to decide, especially now. I’m not NSA anymore, you don’t get to play chess with my life.” He said through gritted teeth, looking as if he were about to crawl out of his own skin. Another blink and the man was halfway out of her office and focus was drawn to Linus, who was shrinking down in his chair hoping that the woman in front of him couldn’t see him by some grace of God.

 “For God sake Linus, sit up, you aren’t in trouble!” Maggie snapped, and Linus immediately rose to a stiff posture, “Watch out for him.” She said simply.

 “Like Bond the Spy ‘watch’ or more like a Doctor and his companion?”

 She narrowed his eyes at him, “Get out, Linus.” For the first time in months her voice was almost friendly. He’d gotten so used to the yelling over the months without Kirsten that her friendliness ranked number two in the weirdest thing this month.

  
“Ayo, I’m fine! Every test you’ve run has been prestige, and I know psych consults are not _performed every six months per NSA policy_ so what is going on?” Kirsten said with a furrow her brow, growing more confused and frustrated by the moment. She didn’t like all the fussing, poking, and prodding. It didn’t help that she kept catching the nurse stare at her like a sideshow from the computer while Ayo ran her tests.

 The knock on the door made the doctor jump slightly, but through the glass she saw a familiar brunette. With a nod of her head she motioned for him to come in. “Do you mind giving us a moment, Ayo?”

 With a small smile and nod, the doctor left in tow with Chelsea. Cameron took in a deep breath when Kirsten looked over her shoulder to look at him. No words came out of her and he was unbelievably thankful. If she started talking he wasn’t sure he would be able to tell her the truth. His resolve would crumble and he’d happily live in a world where he never lost her, where four years of their lives were wasted without the other.

 Her smile knocked the wind out of him.

 “We gotta talk, Cakepop.” He said, wincing at how his voice cracked, betraying him.

 “Camille says that whenever a man says that sentence, I should plug my ears and run. Should I be worried?” She asked, worry lines creasing into her face.

 Wordlessly, Cameron moved to take both her hands in his, leaving the unspoken ‘yes’ hang in the room.

 With every word he spoke, she grew more and more confused. It was when the confusion turned to anger, fear, sadness, that was when he broke.

 

_“I’m sure she’ll get her memory back,” Fisher assured. Camille nodded, “Yeah, just get in there and talk to her. Be with her.”_

  _“No, I can’t, not now.” Cameron said, his voice breaking under the stress._

  _“Come on dude, you got to,” Linus insisted, staring down his best friend who was practically tearing his own hair out in grief._

  _“No, I don’t have to do anything man, this is my fault. I’m not going to be able to forgive myself for this.” His heart was pounding in his chest, harder than it ever has in his life. He’d take a heart attack over this pain any day, this raw constant tearing inside him that screamed for her with every beat._

  _“You had no choice.” Fisher assures him, giving him a sympathetic look that made him want to vomit, he didn’t deserve their sympathy._

  _“Fishers right, you did exactly wha--”_

  _“No! I had a choice and this is the choice that I made!” He interrupted, tears welling in his eyes making everything a blurry shade of greys and browns._

  _“Because Kirsten wanted you to.” Camille finished with more force, desperately trying to get through to her friend._

  _“It was my call! I should have said no!”_

  _“But you didn’t, so don’t beat yourself up over it.” Linus finished._

  _“I know,” Cameron said with a slam of his fist against the desk. “But please just leave me alone right now.”_

  _“Cam.” Fisher said._

  _“Just, please.” He begged, not meeting any of their gazes. He couldn’t look them in the eyes, he’d just lost their friend, best friend, roommate, coworker, the love of his life. He didn’t deserve anything from them._

  _It was Camille who left first, shortly followed by Fisher. Linus lingered for a moment, giving his friend a final look before leaving him alone to silence._

  _A piece of Cameron kept hoping Kirsten would just wander back into his life._

  _But she never did._

  
  
Not until today.


	2. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a lil wine when posting. If its off the walls bad then whoops will fix later.

The apartment was a familiar quiet when Cameron came home that night, but instead of relishing in the silence, it smothered him. One night back in her gravity was enough to bring his relatively neutral existence to a crashing halt, quiet nights alone no longer enough for him. He wanted loud bright nights filled with television turned far too loud, dancing to whatever song she liked that day, laughter echoing across the blue walls of his apartment. Even the things he hated, he loved. The way she would set an alarm for an ungodly hour just to snooze it for the next two (he loved the half asleep cuddling and whispers they shared), how she would turn the radio up louder every time he turned it down (part of him did it just to hear her sing along), her cold fingers snaking their way under his shirt (she was touching _him_ ).

Exhaustion creeped into his weary bones as he wandered into the kitchen, it was far too late to even consider cooking, mostly because if he did there was a high possibility he’d fall asleep halfway through. He’d stayed at the lab far too late examining the video tapes and files Maggie provided him, trying to figure out where things went so wrong. The last video had made him physically ill and by the time he was through he’d looked up to the lab with bleary eyes only to realize he was the only one there. It had become so late that within hours people would start straggling in for a new days work.

“You’re so loud,” someone grumbled from underneath his covers, causing his heart to stop beating for a second too long in shock. “Just get in bed already,” she ordered, flinging open the blankets to reveal an empty spot in the bed next to her.

Forgoing his search, Cameron sighed and let himself relax onto the bed, above the covers. The space between them setting his skin to flames, his face a flush that came a close match to fire. He became all too aware of his lack of clothing, starting to feel exposed underneath her gaze. Kirsten, not being one to shy down from a long stare, found herself looking up and down his body trying to re familiarize herself with his body. He was still lean, yet there was more definition of his muscles. Cameron felt self conscious under her gaze.

“I don’t know where I was,” she mumbled, answering the question that he’d refused to ask. He was confident that just about everyone else had already asked it a thousand times over the course of the day. Kirsten had spent the entire day in the medical office while Cameron spent hours upon hours watching lab footage, never crossing paths again. She’d been long gone by the time he’d wandered out of his old office

“I know,” He answered, staring straight up at the ceiling, unable to look at her for another moment. Each second he saw her filled him with an unending pain deep in his chest that felt like it was going to kill him. She reached out and wrapped her fingers around his wrist and he felt like he was going to die right there in that bed.

“I didn’t ever want to hurt you,” She promised quietly, squeezing his wrist lightly, trying to send a message to him that he couldn’t seem to encode. Every second was pained as memories poured over him. The moment he realized she didn’t remember him, the first time she said she hated him, the last time. She was the only person in the world who could tear him down with only words and glances, opening his chest for the world to see.

“I know that too,” He said, voice mechanic. He knew, but she also knew that she did. He didn’t work for weeks following his last day at the lab, eventually finding himself on his parents doorstep with deep bags under his bloodshot eyes, face covered in stubble, in complete disarray. He’d collapsed on their couch and slept for two days. At one point his mother thought he was on drugs and said they could send him to rehab, at another his father thought he needed to be checked in to a treatment center. He couldn’t bring himself to talk for another few days after waking up, making his way through the movements like a ghost. It took weeks before he thought he could breathe without her. A job soon fell into his lap and he left his parents despite their worried looks and long night time conversations that they thought he couldn’t hear. For months he spent every second on his research for memory loss and when asked why he studied memory he would be at a lost for words. There’s no way to say, ‘The love of his life can’t remember him because he stuck her in a tank of water and stitched her mind into the mind of her mother.’

He’d been tired. Months of reaching for someone who would breaks his arm and slice his wrists.

Cameron turned over to face the wall, unable to continue the conversation.

Kirsten watched his breathing eventually slow, unable to fall asleep herself. Guilt was eating at her as she watched him. She didn’t know many of the details but what she gathered over the day in the medical office was that it was particularly bad and that she was the one to leave. If she was being honestly, the last part didn’t surprise her. Cameron was the most loyal person she’d ever met, she didn’t think he’d leave her even if she told him to.

He presented himself much different now. His shoulders sagged, each breath seemed like a tired gasp, his eyes were dull and didn’t reflect the life they once did.

No matter how hard she thought, she couldn’t remember any of it. The absolute last thing she could remember was staying with Camille for a night. It hadn’t been for any specific reason and the harder she thought about it the harder it was to remember.

Next to her, Cameron started groaning as he tossed and turn in distress.

She wasn’t so sure she could forgive herself, whatever she did, it was bad.

 

Camille sat up in bed unable to sleep, the harsh blue light of her laptop lighting the room. She’d spent hours upon hours running through Kirsten’s case file; medical tests since she’d returned, all the possible sighting reports, their clues and ideas, the videos of her leaving the hospital and somehow disappearing from detection after a coma. None of it ever added up, and it made even less sense now that she was back. She was exhausted, it was nearly morning and she hadn’t pieced anything new together since the first month of Kirsten’s disappearance.

Soon her alarm would be going off and she’d be driving to go pick her up from Cameron’s apartment to bring her to the lab. They weren’t sure if he’d be willing to return after yesterday, between his other job and the fact that they just didn’t know him anymore. She hadn’t truly seen him in years, and the man who had stood in front of her in the lab hadn’t been the same man she’d known years ago. He had edges, cracks, and wasn’t afraid to cut you down.

She could remember what Cameron had been like for the first few weeks after Kirsten’s memory had been affected. He blamed himself viciously and worked around the clock to find a solution until he ran himself into the ground.

_Cameron watched her as she yelled at him, pushing him back further and further until his back was against the brick wall. He couldn’t find any words inside him so he stayed completely silent, never resisting her advances against him. If her were being honest he couldn’t even tell you what the fight was about or why she was yelling at all. It was like she was speaking in a language that he’d never heard before. Usually she just avoided him with a general dislike but recently things had upped the ante and her reactions became more vicious. He took it to heart, blaming himself entirely for the situation._

_The entire lab watched them fight and he felt like he was on stage in his underwear for the entire school to see._

_Camille’s heart broke for him, she could see the exhaustion on his face, his shoulders slouched and his heavy heart was weighing him down. The stitch had gone horribly and he’d yanked her out just before the two minute mark when things had gotten out of control. It was the right choice, but you can’t tell that to this version of Kirsten. She thinks she’s right no matter what, strong headed, not afraid to tear you down._

_She wasn’t sure why he was still trying. He went home to her every night, protected her with his life, and yet she couldn’t return any of it. It was different than Kirsten before stitching; then she was a calculated, emotionless robot but she could recognize right from wrong. Now she had zero filter, lived with a superiority complex, and didn’t care who was in her path. Camille knew that Cameron had been willing to love Kirsten before she could even tell happy from sad, but these days she wasn’t sure he was going to make it through this. Everyone knew he would go days without sleeping, researching for answers and cures, anything for her. Nothing seemed to work and Kirsten had lost interest quickly. People started to give in to the idea that this was who Kirsten was always going to be._

_“You didn’t even give me a chance! I was this close!” Kirsten yelled, pushing against Cameron’s shoulders, making him crash back into the cement wall._

_Cameron snapped, his face contorted in a mixture of pain and anguish, desperation seeping out out him, “I refuse to lose you to this! None of this even matters without you!” He shouted, his hands on her biceps begging for comfort that would never come. Camille would put her paycheck on the idea that this was the first time he’d touched her in weeks._

_Kirsten ripped herself away as if she’d been burned, “I’m not yours to lose!” She growled, quickly turning to make her exit, most likely to work on ideas before stitching back in after the refractory period. Camille watched Cameron carefully, staring down at his open palms like they held the answer to life._

_Slowly, he turned to make a silent exit to a back office that he’d taken over for research. He felt safe there. No one could stare at him. He hated the pitiful looks, the ‘It’ll get better’s’, and the ‘she’ll come back’s’. They weren’t helpful, he needed ideas, options. Not sympathy. He returned to his research and didn’t leave the room for two days._  

Camille sighed, relaxing back in her bed, allowing the laptop to slip aside. She rubbed her eyes, tired from staring at the bright screen for hours only to find nothing useful at all. As a last ditch effort she decided to see if there were any hidden confidential files, risking her job and security clearance just for peeking in. But her eyes landed on one file marked “Knight.”

When she opened it, a dossier spilled out all in connection to Cameron. Easily thousands of pictures, dating back to before she’d even met him and the most recent being only a day and a half ago. Documents detailing hours worth of conversations he had, messages he sent, every piece of research he’d completed on memory recovery.

Quickly she scrambled to call Linus to pass along the information. She wasn’t sure what the purpose was, maybe the NSA watched them all like this. With the phone pressed to her ear against her shoulder she started to type furiously, searching for any keyword she could think of. Obviously there were nicknames but she had no idea what they would be. She tried ‘Stitcher’, ‘Spy’, ‘Communications’, anything that came to mind. Nothing came to the surface.

“Camille, we talked about this, no calling before the sun rises.” Linus answered sleepily, voice thick like syrup.

“I don’t care about your beauty sleep right now! I found a secret file on Cameron in the NSA database. Nothing is coming up for anyone else. It’s chuck full of pictures and documents. I need your help now!” She said, words spilling out in a rushed panicked tone.

There was silence on the line until she heard the rustling of blankets and then the sound of the door opening and closing, “I can be there in fifteen.”

“Make it ten.” Camille demanded, hanging up before returning back to the file on Cameron. It was an unbiased dossier on her former friend and it could give her answers that she’d never be able to get in person. Navigating her way to the week he left the program she started reading it like a novel that she couldn’t put down. His stay with his parents, his work at UCLA, medical records, even noise complaints. Apparently his mother had forced him into counseling and it was wildly unsuccessful, most things in his file were unsuccessful like his research and his attempts to forget himself.

Before she knew it Linus had arrived and was working on finding possible files on themselves to no avail.

“Any codename I try comes up empty,” He said in frustration, pushing the computer off his lap. Camille looked at him with sympathy, she had reached that point of frustration hours ago. She’d printed Kirsten’s investigation file weeks ago and the papers were spread across the room in a true Kirsten style with strings connecting them and notes written everywhere. Camille walked around them to analyze every detail once more. Her friend had simply woken up one night, stole scrubs, and left the hospital without a single person noticing. It was too perfect and nothing had come to light to point them in any direction. The second she left the hospital she was off the map, no camera spotted her, all sightings had been debunked, there was nothing to go on. They couldn’t even find footage of her entering Cameron’s building. Almost like she was a ghost

“What causes someone to lose their memory twice?” Camille asked exasperated. She ran her fingers through her hair, exhaustion wearing her down. “Losing memory is hard to do even once, and she’s done it twice. Something is wrong but I have no idea what!” Camille shouted, staring at a picture of Kirsten in stolen scrubs near the exit of the hospital. She was looking over he shoulder like she was being followed but there was no one there.

There were no answers.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully you liked it, definitely will be continuing this fic.


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